Empathy

It seems to me that we are all damaged goods. There is a part of each of us that is wounded and hurting, a place of anxious fear, that we are constantly trying to protect.

It also seems to me that the key to practicing empathy is seeking out and understanding those places in others, particularly those whose behaviors we don't like. When we can see the wounds, or the fear, suddenly the behavior becomes understandable -- not excusable, but understandable.

I recently had a series of encounters with someone who was bizarrely, remarkably, aggressively rude. It was only after I had gotten over my shock and dismay at his behavior that I started seeing the signs of social anxiety, of being terrified of having left his comfort zone, and worry about having his performance judged by others.

It saddened me to see him wound up so tight among what were obviously people who wanted nothing but to have him fit in with the group. However, there is a kind of beauty in seeing the "whole" person (or at least a larger portion of them), especially the parts they don't want me to see.